A lot of craft-brewed beer is sold in grocery stores, and I am spending part of this week at the National Grocers Convention. The opening keynote speaker was George W. Bush on February 9.  When former VP Dick Cheney criticized W. last fall for listening to public opinion in his second term, I wondered if he would shoot back. Nope, in fact VP Cheney’s name did not appear at all in the half-hour address.

Wondering what our former president is up to? He says he and Laura are now living in a cul-de-sac neighborhood. He does not miss being president, except he does miss being commander-in-chief. He has had to make the adjustment from “100 mph to zero.” While I don’t have all the quotes exact, here are some of the other experiences he related:

• W:  It is nice to be free. Laura:  You are free to do the dishes. W:  But honey, I am the former president of the United States. L: Consider it your new domestic policy initiative.
• I was walking Barney in the neighborhood and he stretched out his leash and did his business in Dr. Young’s yard. So there I was, former president of the United States, with a plastic bag on my hand…
• “I was giving a speech and I said I thought Laura was the greatest first lady in our nation’s history. Then I looked into the audience and saw my mother sitting there.”
• “Life is good outside the bubble.”
• Barbara:  Are you speaking a lot? It’s kind of like white collar crime.
• I received criticism for my abstinence policies regarding AIDS in Africa, but in my view it works every time.
• Wall Street got drunk and we got the hangover, but I didn’t want to be president of a depression greater than the Great Depression.
• I’m writing a book to the great surprise of the pundits who didn’t know I could read, let alone write.

And there you have it.

–Paul Gatza